Lies My Parents Told Me
by Addicted2Words17
Summary: He is ten years old when he finds out about heartbreak. Multiple POV. Spashley
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone, long time no see. I am sincerely sorry for taking years to post and then not even giving you an update of the story you want. I don't even think saying I've been busy would really cover how long it's been. I'm trying to work on Tiniest Notion, but unfortunately it will take time seeing as the story got deleted from my computer so I have to refigure out where I was going with it. However I have been playing around with a new story and it has a few chapters and here it is. It's nothing serious, just a way to cure my writers block so forgive me for any mistakes. It's been awhile. Just so you know this story will be in multiple points of view. Hope you enjoy.**

**I do not own anything, but if I did there would be some serious Spashley love back on TV.**

**Give Me Novocain **

**Glen**

_Drain the pressure from the swelling_

He is ten years old when he finds out about heartbreak.

It's a Thursday and his father is standing at the front door with his things. He's wobbling and he smells like the drink that's always glued to his hand. Glen watches from the entrance of the living room as his sister grovels on her knees. He wants to go to her and comfort her, but he can't look away from his sister. She's sobbing and gripping that** man**'s legs as she tries to choke out her pleas.

"I'll…b…be…good, I…promise. I'll do good in school. I'll get all A's" She hiccups from how fiercely the tears are flowing, but their father is firm and doesn't touch her in return. "Just don't leave me Daddy" He flinches at the last word, but still refuses to comfort her.

Glen hates him for it.

He knows how Spencer feels because they're twins and her pain is his pain. Glen feels the clenching of his heart and it makes him want to cry. He wants to help his sister, but he can't move his feet. It doesn't matter, because their father has had enough and pulls Spencer to her feet. He grips her shoulders tightly and shakes her. She closes her eyes and tenses with each forward movement.

"It's not your fault, you hear me? This has nothing to do with you" Glen watches as her eyes darken and her face hardens.

"Then why are you leaving?" It stuns their father and he freezes before throwing Spencer to the ground harshly. He yanks open the door and Glen kneels down in front of Spencer. Glen pulls her into his arms and she cries harder, if possible. He wishes the bastard would just leave already because all he ever brought their family was hurt and pain.

"You two have each other. You'll get over it" He turns to walk out the door, but Glen's voice stops him.

"Dad" He looks back at Glen.

"Yeah Son?"

"Don't come back" If his father is shocked at the malice that is radiating from his words he doesn't let on.

"I won't" He walks out of the door and Spencer pulls away to scream at his back.

"I HATE YOU!" She slams the door and throws herself onto Glen who falls back from the force. "Promise you'll never leave me" She's squeezing him and he feels himself losing air. When he doesn't answer she pulls back and yells. "Glen! Promise me you will never leave me"

"I won't" He answers quickly and she locks their pinkies.

"And I won't leave you" She stands up and Glen can already see the change in her. Paula comes downstairs in her robe and sniffles.

"Is he gone yet?" Glen nods his head and stands up. He walks over to their mother and she grips him tightly. Spencer doesn't join in; instead she leaves the room and comes back with a box. The hug is broken as they watch Spencer take down pictures and throw them into the box. Glass is shattering inside, but she doesn't care. "Spencer, honey… what are you doing?"

"I never want to see his face again" Glen understands so he trots down the stairs and starts helping her. Their mother just slumps against the rails of the staircase and watches.

They continue like that for hours until the only memory left of him is their mother's tears.

(And eventually those disappear too.)

/

Glen knows Spencer better than anyone.

He knows that she cries whenever she watches My Girl and she can never sleep alone when it's Friday the 13th.

He knows exactly how long it takes for her to fall into a deep sleep and that she hides a stuffed animal under her bed.

So he isn't blind to Spencer's new found appreciation of the female body.

They're fourteen now and very aware of the existence of sex. It's never discussed, although Spencer is his best friend. They don't talk about anything dating related.

He doesn't know why, he already knows she's gay. If her love of Joan Jett didn't make it clear, the way she blushes whenever a girl in a bikini comes on screen does. Plus the closest she's come to dating a boy was when she let Aiden Dennison hold her hand for a week.

Then there's Ashley Davies.

A year ago they got new neighbors who happen to have two daughters around their age. Ashley is a year older than them and she spends most of her time playing her guitar outside. She's cute and attends the same high school for the arts as he and Spencer (a school Paula was more than happy to let them attend as long as long as she didn't have to be a real mother). He doesn't know much about her besides that.

(Unlike the other Davies whose features he can picture perfectly with his eyes closed.)

He decides to broach the topic while they are working on homework in his room. She's sitting on his bed with her back to the wall and she must be doing Science because she's making this face she gets when she doesn't understand something. He figures he can smoothly address…

"Are you gay?"

Apparently his mouth works without his brain's permission.

Spencer looks up at him with this expression that reminds him of when she'd get caught stealing cookies for him as a kid. She looks like she's ready to cry and her jaw slacks.

"Glen…" her voice cracks. He means to tell her right away that it's okay, but her reaction is throwing him off. She looks scared and he doesn't know why because it's just a three word question. "I…" There's a part of him that wants to just say forget it, but the other side of him knows that they have to talk about this. "I'm…I…" She sighs before trying again. "Yeah… I think I am"

"Cool", he nods his head and goes back to his homework.

(He pretends like he doesn't hear her exhale in relief)

/

He starts dating Kyla Davies the summer after his freshmen year.

They are both fifteen and believe in forever. They rarely fight and spend most of their time kissing. She's beautiful and sweet and her hair smells like flowers. They have a lot in common (her love of acting and his love of directing) and they spend that summer making romances on and off camera. She's talented and when she recites Shakespeare to him it makes him truly listen to the meaning of the words. They watch hundreds of movies and she doesn't complain when he explains why he hates/loves a scene.

She's his first love.

Spencer shakes her head whenever he tries to explain it to her, but no matter how much she calls him an idiot he knows she gets it.

(He sees the looks she shares with the other Davies sister and wishes she would lower her walls just enough to let Ashley in.)

/

He knows that this is what love is.

He's filming Kyla as she shows him a move she learned in her dance class when he says it. It's the last week before school and her hair is flying everywhere as she dances and the dress she's wearing flows when she twirls.

"I love you", he says it loud enough for her to hear and she stops her dance to look at him curiously.

"I know", she laughs. She says it in a way that makes it sound like old news. "But I love you too" She goes back to her dance and he chuckles to himself.

He gets the feeling of someone watching him and looks up to see Spencer looking out of her window. She gives him a slight wave and he returns it. They haven't spent much time together this summer for obvious reasons. It makes him feel like a jerk for not dedicating more time to her. He's about to wave her down when she disappears quickly. Kyla's front door shuts and he sees Ashley with her guitar.

He forgot that Spencer's doing this new thing where she disappears when Ashley appears.

"She does that every time Ashley comes out. If I didn't know any better I'd think that she likes Ashley as much as Ashley likes her", Kyla notes.

"Ashley likes Spencer?" That's one thought that never crossed his mind.

"Ashley never plays in public outside of school and since she's seen your sister she's been outside every day." Kyla looks towards Ashley and smiles. "Isn't that right Ashley?"

"I'm ignoring you Kyla", the older brunette counters.

"Spencer's single…just so you know", he throws out.

"What? All the members of Nsync taken?" Ashley replies. She's heading back in the house when he yells at her.

"She's more of a Joan Jett type of girl" The brunette pauses at the door for a split second before going inside.

"She's totally smiling right now", Kyla giggles.

/

Somehow there's a crack in the gate and Ashley slips in.

He doesn't know how it happened or when, but she finds her way inside the walls. They go from avoiding each other (mostly Spencer) to walking the halls at school together. He never says anything, not even when he finds out about their sleepovers. Spencer has said that they aren't having sex and he believes her. He tried getting Kyla to start sleeping over, but she put a halt to that. She says they are too young to share a bed.

He's not exactly sure what that means.

He lets it go anyway and they start to become a tight group. They go out together and he's able to get all of them in his movies. He and Spencer start to join the Davies for dinner and it becomes their second home. They rarely see their mother so Christine's home cooked meals are welcomed.

He figures this is what it's liked to have a real family.

(He can't remember the last time Paula was even home for dinner. She makes guest appearances, but never says more than hello. It's probably what living with a ghost feels like.)

(Except at least Casper gave a damn about Kat.)

He doesn't tell Spencer his theory on why he thinks their mother is nonexistent. He never mentions that she looks at him like his face puts her in agony. He doesn't want Spencer to confront her and for the truth of why she's absent to come out.

He doesn't need to be reminded of who he's slowly looking more and more like.

He's happy right now and if there's one thing he knows, it's that if it isn't broke… don't fix it.

(But it stays in the back of his mind.)

/

The first time he has a drink is on October 3rd.

He's watching TV with Spencer when their mom comes home early and tosses a letter on his lap. She leaves the room quickly after and the slam of her door shakes the pictures on the wall. Spencer picks the letter up and looks at the front.

"It's from Uncle Thomas", she whispers.

They never speak to their dad's side of the family so this letter comes as a surprise. Neither party has any interest in building a bond. Spencer shoves the letter at Glen and he takes the hint to open it. He opens the letter and its one page with two words in hand written scribble.

Arthur died.

There is no explanation or condolences and he respects that. He doesn't want fake pity from a stranger about a man he hasn't seen in years.

"What does it say?" He looks up to see Spencer gauging his reaction.

"Dad died," he responds nonchalantly. She sits back in her seat and takes a deep breath.

"Good," she states.

They don't talk for the next two hours and she finally gets up. He knows she's headed to her room. She takes a couple of steps and stops.

"Don't tell Kyla or Ashley." There is a sense of finality in her voice and he doesn't respond. She disappears upstairs and he sneaks into the liquor cabinet. He opens the bottle of whiskey, the only thing his father ever left besides a fucked up family, and takes a swig.

Several sips later he ends up crying into his pillow and he can't figure out why a stranger's death hurts him so fucking much.

/

It takes him two days to work up the courage to talk to Spencer about Arthur.

He wants to talk about it, to see if he's alone in this confusion on how to feel. But he knows Spencer; he knows that the day their father walked out on them she wrote him off. He doesn't want her to think that he's weak. In her eyes this man left them even after she pleaded for him to stay.

And Spencer doesn't forgive easily.

He finally forces himself to go to Spencer's room. The door is closed, but he just opens it without knocking. He really shouldn't be surprised to see Ashley doing homework with her.

"Spence… Can we talk?" The alone part is implied and Ashley takes the hint. She grabs her things and kisses Spencer on the cheek before walking past Glen. Spencer pats the bed and he walks in, plopping himself down next to her. "About dad"

"He's not our dad Glen" She closes the book she was reading and leans against the headboard. "What about him?"

"He died Spence"

"I'm aware", she responds coolly.

"Don't you feel… anything?" He searches her expression for some form of sadness.

"Yeah I did. Five years ago when he chose alcohol over us," her voice is harsh and he can tell she's slowly getting upset. But he won't back down from this because he needs to talk to someone. "But if you're asking if I'm sad that he finally got what was coming to him?... No I don't feel a damn thing"

"That's a lie"

"He died Glen. Get the fuck over it, it's not like he loved us" For some reason her words light him on fire and he finds himself pissed off at her for the first time.

"No, fuck that!" He stands up and points a finger at Spencer. "You can bullshit everyone else Spencer, but not me. We share the same blood, when you hurt… I hurt and I know his death bothers you. He may have been an asshole, but… he was still our dad"

"What kind of dad forgets you at school because he was too drunk to remember?"

"The same kind that gives his daughter her first paint set and buys his son every great movie classic!" Spencer folds her arms and he knows his words are settling in. "He wasn't always like that, remember? Back when he was sober…"

"I know," she cuts him off.

"And last night I was thinking about the times when he would keep us home from school just to spend the day with him… and I cried" He feels the tears building again and looks to see Spencer sniffing. "I cried even though I swore I would never give that man a second thought because my heart still gives a damn. I cried because of him and I cried because Mom can't even sit still because she's so busy trying not to think about him. And I cried because of you… because I felt guilty for caring"

"Glen…" There are tear streaks on her cheek now.

"I miss him and I'm sorry, but I can't pretend like I don't give a fuck anymore" He drops onto the bed and puts his head on her lap. She doesn't make any moves to comfort him, but he still grips onto her leg and bawls like a child.

Because even when she's cold she's still his biggest comfort.

She finally rubs his back, but says nothing. He falls asleep after awhile and when he wakes up she's asleep next to him. Quietly, he exits the room.

And the next day they pretend like nothing happened.

/

They are sixteen when he sleeps with Kyla for the first time.

He's lying in bed watching "Casablanca" for the hundredth time on TMC when his cell phone rings. He blindly reaches for it and brings it up to his ear.

"I can't fight it anymore. I ran away from you once. I can't do it again. Oh, I don't know what's right any longer. You have to think for the both of us. For all of us" Glen smiles because leave it to Kyla to start a phone call like this. He figures she's watching the same channel as him and decides to play along.

"All right, I will. Here's looking at you, kid." He responds much like Rick.

"I wish I didn't love you so much"

"You're watching Casablanca too?"

"Glen…. You broke character", she whines.

"Sorry kid," he chuckles. "To what do I owe this late night call? I'm not complaining, but usually you get upset when anybody ruins your sleep cycle."

"Why haven't you tried having sex with me?" The question catches him off guard and he contorts his face in confusion.

"Because you said we aren't ready"

"Okay?...And?"

"And what?"

"You just accepted that? It's been two years and you haven't so much as put your hand up my shirt." He blushes at her words. "I thought guys thought about sex every three seconds. Do you not think I'm pretty?" She asks uncertainly.

"What? No of course I do. I've always thought you were the prettiest dame to ever come my way," he attempts to joke to lighten the situation. When she doesn't laugh he continues, "I would never do anything that would make you uncomfortable. I thought you were waiting until marriage and since I figure I'm the one that's going to marry you it'll happen one day."

"And what if I don't want to get married?"

"Then that's what lotion is for." He sighs in relief when she finally laughs.

"You're gross" She pauses. "But thank you" She hangs up without another word and he's left wondering why she would just hang up on him. There's a knock at his door and he questions why Spencer would be knocking in the middle of the night.

"Come in," he yells while flicking off his TV.

Kyla is the last person he expected to see walk in. She's covered in a small blanket and wearing her fuzzy slippers that are now muddy from the grass.

He still thinks she's beautiful.

"Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, she walks into mine," he recites while sitting up onto the edge of his bed. She drops the blanket and his jaw drops at the sight of seeing her in a tank top and very small shorts.

"Spencer let me in," she explains even though he frankly didn't give a fuck how she got in. She could have ridden in on Puff the magical dragon with Harry Potter steering the reins and he still wouldn't have asked questions. He opens his mouth to speak when she shakes her head. "No questions okay?" He nods his head and she kicks off her shoes before walking towards him. He feels himself get hard the second he can smell her perfume and scolds himself for it. She climbs onto his lap and leans her forehead against his. "Kiss me. Kiss me as if it were the last time"

He doesn't need to be told twice. He wraps his arms around her waist and pulls her tight against him. She gasps, probably from the sensation of rubbing against him. He wastes no time before pressing his mouth against hers. Her lips are soft and her mouth is warm and he can honestly say that even if she stopped here he would be happy.

That is until she reaches into his pants and starts to stroke him.

A growl comes from deep inside of his throat and he tosses her onto the bed. They toss their clothes all over the room and soon they're naked and he's deep inside of her. It only last a couple of minutes and she's in pain and he's embarrassed, but she kisses him softly and they try again.

This time it lasts longer and they fall asleep in each other's arms.

He wakes up in the morning with her hair in his face and takes a deep breath before deciding that Mondays should be spent in bed

(A month later there's a pink plus sign on a pregnancy test)

/

She gets an abortion.

She asks for Ashley to take her and uses the money from that week's allowance. He offers to be there for her, but she won't even look at him and all Ashley can offer is a shrug. They skip school and go on a Tuesday and all Glen can think about is how he'll forever hate Tuesdays. Spencer misses school with him and they sit on their front porch together waiting on Ashley's car to pull up.

Spencer never says a word, only offers her hand and doesn't complain when he squeezes too tightly.

"Is it selfish that I kind of hate her for doing this?" He looks down at his feet. Spencer knows how cold Kyla's been lately and how she told Glen that this was her decision.

"I think that Kyla was unfair to you by not asking how you felt about this." A long silence passes between them and before he can even voice his question, she answers it. "I think you would have made an amazing father"

Ashley's car pulls up an hour later and a pale Kyla climbs out. He stands up, but she shakes her head at him when she spots him. Ashley walks over to the passenger side and helps Kyla the entire way to the house.

"She just…"

"I know. She needs space," he cuts Spencer off. Spencer puts a comforting hand on his shoulder, but he shrugs it off and runs into the house, to his room.

He finds another whiskey bottle and this time he cries for his unborn child.

/

Kyla's back to normal in a week and pretends like nothing happened. They never talk about what happened.

And he's fucking sick of not talking about things.

(He starts to steal alcohol and Spencer pretends like she doesn't smell the stench on his breath)

/

He and Kyla have their first big fight on a Tuesday.

She calls him out on his drinking and before he can stop the words they pour from his mouth.

"I didn't drink this much until you decided to hoover vac our kid!"

She slaps him so hard that his face burns and he leaves her house single.

/

Spencer hides his drinking from their mom.

It makes him angry because he wants his mother to know. He wants everyone to know just how fucked up he is. He screams at her one night when she cleans his room of the smell of puke and washes his clothes.

"Why are you doing this?" She ignores him and pulls out fresh clothes for him. "I'm not putting that on"

"Take a shower and put on the clothes Glen," she responds tiredly.

"Fuck you." He tosses the clothes across the room and she just stares at him. He never talks to her that way and he can tell it hurt her. She leaves the room quietly.

Ten minutes later she comes back with Ashley and they both grab him. He's too drunk to put up a real fight and the girls throw him into a tub full of water fully clothed. He comes up for air only to have Spencer push him back down and hold him there. He flails as the oxygen leaves his body. A second later the hand is removed from his head and he comes up coughing up water. He looks over to see Ashley holding Spencer for dear life as she struggles against her.

"Fuck me? No fuck you!" She screams as Ashley holds her tighter. "Don't you ever fucking talk to me like that again you fucking drunk!"

"Spencer…baby." Ashley whispers. Spencer rips Ashley's arms off of her and runs out of the room, leaving him alone with Ashley.

The brunette quietly gets up and sits down closer to Glen.

"Why are you drinking?"

"Because my kid is in a vacuum bag"

He doesn't see the punch coming, but it was expected. He opens his eyes to see Ashley staring down at him calmly.

"If you keep hurting her, I'll kill you" She tosses a washcloth at him and leaves the room.

He wonders which her she means.

(Later that night Spencer crawls into his bed and cries on his shoulder because even when he's an ass he's her biggest comfort)

/

Paula finds out.

She comes home early on one of the many days Glen skips school and flips out at the sight of bottles. She yells at him about statistics and alcoholism being genetic. She cries and slaps him and calls him stupid "just like his father".

He cries and throws things and blames her for being a bad mother. She grabs his things and throws them outside and they air their dirty laundry outside for all the neighbors to hear. Ashley's car pulls up and he sees Spencer hesitantly climb out of the car and walk towards them. Ashley and Kyla stay behind and he notices just how many people are watching.

"Glen…Mom," Spencer interrupts.

"Spencer did you know your brother is a fucking drunk?"

"Of course she knows. Unlike you she's actually fucking home," he counters.

"Excuse me if I had to put food on our tables after your good for nothing father left!"

"We could have been fucking broke and it wouldn't have made a fucking difference to me! We needed you!"

"I was there!"

"Yeah! For two seconds to toss us a letter that said our father was dead. Bravo Mother! Someone call fucking Oprah because you're mother of the fucking year!" He's screams until he's red in the face and Spencer steps in front of him.

"Glen. Just go inside," she whispers.

"He's no longer welcome in this home," Paula sneers.

"Like this is a home," he retorts. "I'd rather have a drunken father than an absent mother"

"And I'd rather have a dead son instead of a dead husband." Everyone freezes and Glen feels like he just got punched in the gut. Paula covers her mouth as her words dawn on her. Spencer stares at their mother with the same hatred she had for their father before reaching out to Glen.

His mother wishes he had died….

The world starts to spin and he feels sick. He sees Kyla with tears in her eyes and Ashley with pity in hers. All of the stares make him have to puke.

He throws up before blacking out.

/

He wakes up in bed with Spencer pressed against him sleeping.

He sees the tear streaks on her face and it breaks his heart. Slowly he detaches himself from her and grabs his video camera on his way to the bathroom.

An hour later he's sobbing as he lays the camera next to Spencer with a note saying "watch me." He kisses her forehead and she moves slightly.

"I'm sorry sis"

He grabs the picture frame from his nightstand and leaves the house quietly.

/

He drives to an overpass and gets out of the car.

He sees the freeway beneath him and a part of him feels eerily calm. He sits on the railing and looks at a photo of him and Spencer in a picture booth with Kyla and Ashley. He strokes Kyla's face in the picture.

"Here's looking at you kid"

/

Glen Carlin ends his life on a Tuesday.

A few miles down the road, Spencer's heart stops for a second.


	2. Chapter 2

**Yada Yada Yada I own nothing whatever whatever.**

**Suggestions**

**Spencer**

_It just takes a second for my world to come crumbling down_

Glen dies and so does every part of Spencer.

She doesn't leave her room for days.

She skips the funeral and just lies in bed and wishes for a world where brothers stick around and mothers aren't bitches.

She can't speak without wanting to scream until her heart doesn't hurt anymore.

She stays up for two nights straight carving into her wall and the words are sloppy, but radiate every emotion she's felt since her Glen's death.

_How Could You Do This To Me?_

(Paula sees what Spencer's done to her wall and leaves. She tosses money on Spencer's bed and says she's taking a vacation. She doesn't say where she's going, but she leaves a number for emergencies. Two weeks later she's still gone, but money is deposited into Spencer's account every three days.

It doesn't bother Spencer.

She just adds it to her wall.

_Why Do You Always Leave?_)

/

When they were kids Spencer would always cry when Glen got hurt.

His pain was her pain.

They used to always joke about purposely hitting themselves so the other would feel it.

(She wonders if he realized that killing himself would kill her too)

/

Ashley sees the wall and says nothing.

Spencer always loved Ashley's ability to seem calm no matter what war is raging inside of her.

Only now it's killing her not to know what the brunette is thinking.

Ashley just stares at the wall before sitting down and doing her (and Spencer's) homework. She makes dinner and they sit in silence at the dinner table.

(She tries not to focus on the empty chairs because they only remind her of how alone she is)

"Where's your mom?" Ashley is the first to speak and Spencer just pushes the food around her plate.

"Gone," she mumbles back.

(Ashley brings a suitcase over that night and Spencer wordlessly makes room for her in her closet).

/

Some

Days

She

Screams

At

Her

Reflection

Because

It's

The

Closest

She

Can

Get

To

Cursing

Him

/

She fights with Ashley on Friday the 13th.

The floodgates open and soon they are at each other's throats.

"You need to go to school! Life doesn't stop because Glen's…"

"How do you know?! You have a family! He was ALL I had." She cuts Ashley off because she's the last person that needs to be reminded that Glen's dead. She has a mirror that does the job just fine.

"And what about me?" Ashley whispers and it would have broken Spencer's heart if there were any pieces left.

"What about you?" Spencer's voice cracks.

Because Ashley is Ashley.

She's Spencer's first love.

"I worry about you Spence," Ashley shakes her head.

"Don't. I don't need your pity" Spencer grabs Ashley's things and throws them into her suitcase. "And I don't need you"

"You don't mean that." Ashley's soft touch tries to halt Spencer's hasty movements. But Spencer moves away before contact is made.

(She tells herself it's because she doesn't need to be comforted, but in reality she knows if Ashley touches her she'll break down again)

"We're done"

Those two words shatter them both, but she's better at hiding than Ashley.

Ashley leaves her clothes _("I don't want anything that smells like you") _takes her guitar and leaves. Spencer locks her door and tries to take down every picture in her house.

(She makes it until she finds a picture of the four of them the summer after she started dating Ashley before she smashes a mirror and cries until her throat hurts)

She spends the night in Glen's room because she never sleeps in her room on this day.

The next day she gets a knife and carves into her wall.

_I'm sorry. I love you._

/

She goes to school after Paula threatens to cut her off. (_"They threatened to call the police.")_

She doesn't explain where she went but Spencer can hear the hospital in the background. (She knows Paula's been staying at a hotel in town.)

She promises to go if Paula allows her to be emancipated.

"I already talked to the family lawyer"

They meet the next day and Spencer just tunes out when they explain what will happen.

"_Your mother doesn't want the house. She's already found another residence"_

"_You will have your trust fund because you need to prove you can support yourself. She will deposit money regularly into your account"_

"_You have to go to school"_

"_You will not contact her under any circumstance"_

"_She will no longer be responsible for you"_

"_It will be like you have no mother"_

She signs without another thought (Paula checked out long before Glen died) and it only takes a few weeks for her to be officially on her own.

The house seems bigger than usual.

/

School is harder now.

The hallways are filled with whispers and stares.

She holds her head up and throws herself into her school work. The only class she is behind in is art (because Ashley can't draw to save her life), but her art teacher understands.

It doesn't take long for her to get back into the flow.

She does the extra credit assignments in all of her classes and works through her lunch.

Her teachers think it's because she's dedicated, but in reality she doesn't want to run into either Davies.

(If she sees Ashley she might break down in tears and if she sees Kyla she might kill her because there is a huge part of her that blames her for Glen)

She keeps herself busy.

She gets a job at a local coffee shop that has open mike nights. The trust fund her mother left her hasn't been touched yet (She still has money from when her mother went on "vacation" and the house is paid for.) The bills aren't high and she doesn't go out so it leaves her sitting on a lot of money. She works just to have something to do and to have people around her.

Aiden Dennison works with her.

She's known him her whole life and he was her first boyfriend (it only lasted a couple of days before she knew boys were not her thing).

He shows her the ropes once she's hired and he never brings up Glen. In response she never brings up Madison (and how skinny she is) and they form a bond.

They work the same schedule and he drives her home the nights that they close.

(She can't find it in her to drive Glen's car)

The first time she laughs in months is because of him.

They are cleaning tables when a girl Spencer recognizes from school does her interpretation of a scene in some soap opera that Spencer doesn't give two shits about.

"I'm kind of hoping this is a death scene," Aiden comments.

It's not even that funny, but Spencer laughs until she cries.

(She feels guilty later because it wasn't Ashley that made her smile first.)

/

She

Misses

Ashley

So

Fucking

Much

/

Glen's video haunts her on a daily basis.

She refuses to watch it mostly because she knows he really would have wanted her to.

And she refuses to give him what he wanted when he LEFT her.

"_Spence… please" _He would probably say.

But she already knows what's on the video. Empty apologies and explanations that don't justify shit.

She comes home every day from school and looks at the camera.

**Watch me**

**Watch me**

**Watch me**

She wants to hate him for what he did.

For leaving her.

For making her bitter.

She lets those emotions out onto her wall and soon all four of them are filled with questions _(Why did I let you go?), _memories _(Remember the time we got sick on the rollercoaster), _and everything else _(I worry about me too)._

She paints a portrait of him over some of the words and wonders if she's slowly losing her mind.

(Her art teacher says her work has never been better. It's funny how losing her brother made her a better artist)


End file.
